We got to the hospital and got set up with the fetal heart monitor, and my midwife did a test to confirm that it was in fact my water that had broken.

We did some laps around the hospital to see if contractions would start. They slowly came on at the hospital that morning, but very minor and very far apart.

My midwife gave me two options: stay at the hospital to labour, or head home to labour. We decided to head home.

We went for a walk around the block when we got home and on that walk my contractions started kicking in more strongly. I remember this because my friend Brittany called while we were on our walk to ask how I was feeling (knowing my due date was the next day). And I said “well, I’m in labour at this very moment!”

We got back from that walk and put on a movie and I tried to relax on the couch with Jay. I quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen. My contractions kept increasing in intensity and got increasingly closer together. 

I must have paced our main floor 100 times, stopping with each contraction to bend over and breathe. I paired that with going outside and breathing in the crisp October air which seemed to help a bit.

I got into the delivery room and my midwife checked my dilation. I was already 7cm dilated. She asked about my contractions and I told her about the big/ small contractions. She told me the small contractions counted and that they were actually 3-4 minutes apart. Good thing we left when we did!

I tried walking around for a bit in the room but felt like I needed to lie down.

I remember feeling ill-prepared for how painful the contractions were. And at one point I think I only had 30 seconds between contractions. I remember the midwife asking if I wanted to change positions but I felt like I couldn’t move from my back, so I stayed there.

I think it was only about 45 minutes of being at the hospital before feeling the urge to push.

I remember that feeling so clearly. It felt like an out of body experience where I had to just let my body do what it needed to do.

I had two midwives with me and I remember one midwife who stayed at my head being so helpful. As I began pushing, I became quite afraid of the pain. I kept yelling out “I can’t, I can’t!” This midwife was so calm and peaceful the entire time. She helped keep me grounded and reminded me how strong I was and that I could do it. 

Side note: I went into Sadie’s delivery wanting to try for an unmedicated labour. I remember wanting to ask for an epidural at one point as I was labouring, but my midwife told me as soon as I arrived that there wouldn’t be time for one because I was already so dilated. Knowing it was off the table was reassuring in a strange sense knowing that unmedicated was my only option. I felt very confident I could do it.